I have had a history with having ‘boundary issues’, especially when it comes to my romantic relationships. I tend to give away a lot of my heart, energy and focus being in relationship. On one hand, this is very good for my partners, as they are the recipient of that love, energy and sensual energy. For me, though, it takes its toll (when I am not paying attention). I guess I have not mastered realizing where their energy begins and mine ends. I am working on that!
That happened to me in my current relationship. Back in February, I developed a frozen shoulder, a very painful condition that often lasts 6 months or more. It was so painful I could barely move, comb my hair or sleep comfortably! Have you ever noticed that when the body is talking (in pain) we have no choice but to listen. What I found out while working with two amazing Texas based healers was that I was picking up energy from my partner and taking it on…..I did not see this until it was pointed out to me, and then I was like, “oh that makes so much sense.” You see as a a Highly Sensitive Person, there are certain ways of being that don’t always serve…..but I believe it goes beyond that, I am a also StarSeed on a mission, a bringer of light, so sensitivity barely scratches the surface. To be my best, I need a lot more alone time than others, and a certain amount of TLC from myself and those in my life. I had not been getting my emotional needs met. OUCH.
Because I am smart enough to know the power of healing and accepting support, my case was resolved within about a week so my arm and shoulder got back to normal, but this “wake up call” put me on path to investigate what was working and not working in my marriage. So I started researching what being an HSP and StarSeed is all about. The thing is, there were signs all along, and my energy was feeling more and more depleted, I just could not yet connect the dots of what was really going on (the hidden agreements we were living out in our relationship for example). I also discovered a treasure trove of information about Multigenerational Healing and how we are often unknowingly playing out parts for our ancestors… who knew! I won’t go into the whole journey, but I will share that I finally had to make a choice to take some major ME time. It came down to me or him and I chose me. And so for the next month, I am staying in a condo on Padre Island and will be doing healing, beach bumming and writing. My intention is to return to love and find out if I want to stay married or not.
Honestly, I don’t know which way I will go, but I do KNOW that each of us is unique and we have our own path, regardless of the paths of others. I have to find my uniqueness and You have to find your uniqueness. I cannot live my life for someone else’s approval, not my partner’s, my parents, or social conditioning. My path is mine to create the way it works for ME. I am committed to having my life work and oftentimes that means the hard choice is the right choice. You know what I mean? It is through getting out of the old pattern that something new can be discovered and I am willing.
I wanted to share with you my Courageous Heart Declaration:
I’m going to resonate with love.
I’m going to love unconditionally. I’m going to do it the way Osho taught.
I’m going to love them whether they are sick. Otherwise, I cannot heal.
I’m going to see them as whole, because loving them is who I am.
I’m not going to let them dissuade me from who I am and then blame them for not being who I am.
I am going to teach alignment. I am going to Be Aligned.
I am going to teach Source. I am going to teach well-being.
I am going to teach only love. I am going to be unconditional love.
I am going to love across the board.
So be it.
In the meantime, I apologize for being a bit out of touch but I do invite you to stay connected on my Facebook page.
With love, Michelle
Michelle Casto is a Destiny mentor and Spiritual Teacher & Author that helps you live your life based on your Soul’s desires.