Gut Instincts and Grandma

I have always been a true believe in following your gut instincts and trusting that I have the answers within me, but even knowing this, I have still found myself searching for validation from outside sources.  This started me wondering, if I really do have all the answers inside, perhaps there is a block to me truly hearing and acting on them.

Recently I experienced a most dramatic illustration of how my gut and I have not been in true communion….I am taking a womanly arts dance class and the whole point is to be in our womb space and be comfortable, sensual, and relaxed. 

We learned dance moves and then perform in front of the group to receive positive feedback. Of the 8 people in the class, all were given high praise and looked relaxed and fluid in the dance. (But not Me…comments were “that took bravery”, “something is wanting to emerge”…during the dance I sort of went out of my body and don’t really recall what happened, only that I felt incredible vulnerable, lost and sad in my own body. 

What is odd, is that in general, I am a good dancer and pick things up fairly well, so I could attribute it to the “getting unmarried thing I am going through” but as I was driving home, a river of tears made there way from the deep well inside my gut (some of the feelings did not even seem to originate with me)…..and last week I had heard of multi-generational contracts/agreements with have with our grandparents. I believe I have been playing out “being vulnerable means you are weak” and “you have to do it yourself without a man” for my grandmother. 
Yesterday was tremendously emotional and healing….as I worked with my healer and then wrote a new contract with my Grandma. 

We have one more class next week and I am hoping to be more embodied by then, if not, then I just know there is another layer of grief, sadness and anything else ready to “be let go of.”

Healer Anita  Bucia Brigss offers this “gut release technique”.  Start by relaxing the gut deeply. First step is to unthaw…to release the guardedness. Gut is often the most numb in us for many reasons. Sexual abuse (just seeing the debasement around us is trauma to us), suppression of wounds into subconscious pit (which blocks up lower chakras), and belief in need to ensure survival (which causes us to secrete the wrong hormones). In survival consciousness, we lose the spirit of adventure, which is the power at the physical level to explore the world fully eager to challenge greater self-expression through life…Imagine rolling up sleeves and saying “okay life, let’s get going to greatest challenges!” When we do this, the adrenals secrete different hormones…the whole endo system functions at a higher order! Our attitudes, states of being in life…all this affects body evolution..which then supports us to experience and perceive a higher order of life.

Michelle Casto, The Destiny Diva & Transformational Author

Through her practice of Transformational Coaching, Michelle Casto helps people release what’s in the way of fulfilling their greatest Destiny.  Michelle combines a unique formula of spiritual guidance, mindset re-setting techniques with an empathic and intuitive heart to help her clients access the self-love, courage and confidence essential to creating life on purpose and with the highest consciousness.  Michelle focuses on the heart of the matter and expertly reveals where you may be deceiving yourself and buying into illusions or outdated belief systems to set your Soul free to Succeed.  A prolific author, her latest book is The Destiny Discovery:  Find Your Soul’s Path to Success, available on amazon.com and audio version on audible.com